No, I haven't abandoned this blog. Yes, I understand that it has been about a month since I last posted. And yes, the month has seemed long/short due to the extremes of either prepping for Os or the slow mundane/content days of post Os.
I have a confession to make: I had about four posts on stand-by, scheduled for release ever since the second week of November. I didn't let them out because I had a period of serious self-doubt. Unlike my usual shameless style of serving you sub-standard posts, I decided then I would send you no posts at all!
It seems semi-pointless -- I lost my train of thought
It seems semi-pointless to hold back on posts since I would still be doing pretty badly no matter when I release them, so here I am with an update promising you about 8 more posts I have queued!
I know some people have been eagerly looking forward to my updates, but I hereby offer explanations for my absence:
About that self doubt: It involved feeling like whatever Iwas wouldn't cut it. I was convinced the moment I let something I had to say slip out, everyone around me would start to realise how horrible I actually am and the end of the world for me wouldn't be in about a month's time. It started dawning upon me that I would probably be judged and feel forever inadequate and everybody wouldn't bother and I felt like a font 6 while everyone else was a font 72. It didn't help that yesterday, I realised that not only am I font 6, I am also Kristen ITC.
The feeling was shot down by a little star-gazing and music. I then realised that I have been doing this for so long that it wouldn't really make a difference to anyone, much less than myself.
Material gathering: I hate to start when I don't have the right materials ready, especially photos, so I had to wait until the materials I had gathered had undergone grooming and conversion before I started work.
Tumblr: I'm a phone blogger when I'm on tumblr, but because I need to see my post sections on blogger, I only blog here when I use the computer. Yes, I have been spending countless hours scrolling down tumblr instead of coming here to bring you posts. I'm sorry.
Something is up with my scheduled posts; they aren't being released on time. Needless to say, I was counting on that hassle-free way to churn posts out for the blog, which failed. As all my plans do. As a result of that, I had the time and awareness of my written post sitting somewhere, awaiting the light of day and I began to panic about my tone and topic and blah blah blah which, if I had placed equal amount of emphasis on all the time, I would have a total of maybe 5 published posts in all my 6 years of running this blog.
6 years. That brings me to the point of the hassle that is Picasa. Just this afternoon when I decided I could blog about the musuem trip, Picasa had to inform me that I had bust my photo storage quota for the second time (the first time I was scared shitless; I thought it was the end of my life... then I found the first year of my blogging passion which I removed from existence), which means I can't upload anymore photos to this blog unless I
1) delete photos from previous posts or
2) create a new google account
Of course I chose the latter, but it now involves me opening another branch of gmail and blogger accounts and linking blogs here and there as if you're adding an extension to a wing of the building except it's not bricks and cement, it's links and permissions and emails
but
I am a pro at this, even if it means more time wasted, because time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted at all.
I'm kidding, I'm not a pro at all.
No comments :
Post a Comment