Who see with blinding sight

On my better days I live in the moment and embrace doing the things I love with a fierce passion, negative thoughts to the back of my mind. On my worse days, I scoot along with the glaring knowledge that from out of the frying pan, I am going into the fire. I had meant to start with a little more optimism and cheer but lmao lately, these mercurial moods shackle me and the mere mention of that which shall not be named sends me into hysterical fear about the future... or the lack thereof. 

Fascinatingly, time will still pass whether I like it or not, and the future will ebb into the present even if I wish it would not. So before I pass into deep end of the hollow transition and inch towards the fucking terrifying cusp of adulthood -- I'm starting my internship next week -- I have some bits of sunshine for you. 

22 November 2014: Waiting for Godot 

Caught WFG by ABA Theatre at SOTA! Ever since we started studying the text, I'd been dying to watch a production of it and managed to do so in the week before my last paper, as sort of a theatrical re-awakening in preparation haha. I probably shouldn't have watched the YouTube film version so many times while studying because it did taint my reception of the play. I think I had more  emotional and spiritual engagement to film, which can be found here. Perhaps it was because it was  film, with more personal angles and close-ups, or due to having book in hand and fully engaging (studying). That said, I got to enjoy the stage elements we studied about (i.e. caged dynamics) that wasn't exactly meant for film. 

As usual, the character of Estragon was charming (in the weirdest of ways). I told Angie that I really wildly hope to someday play him and after the first act, she told me she could see why. There's just something about the flighty and basal keenness of Estragon that makes him a spark on stage, in whatever production. The one that gave me chills though, was Lucky. I had goosebumps three lines into his logorrhea, and the actor managed to convey a sense of one... waking up to the existential distress, like a person turning over the crisis in his hands first slowly, then desperately and then discovering that there is nothing to discover. 

Pozzo was well played, menacing and yet felt for, but the effects of film did add more charm to the character. However, his final speech sealed his performance and made me shiver, very very impactful. I felt Vladimir's speeches were not weighted enough, kind of quick, especially his habit is a great deadener speech, but a tough call after Pozzo's effective speech. 

On the whole, I enjoyed myself, quite a novel must-watch having painstakingly studied it for two years, but the film version isn't necessarily a bad substitute.

With Val and Angie

28 November 2014: Out with Zeqi

The mega babe haha. Missed her so much I booked her a few weeks before and managed to secure a date before she flew to HK. We had a difficult time choosing the lunch venue, but thanks to some good rec we decided to go to 112 Bishan Street 12 to try Sapori D' Italia. The reviews said that the food was affordable (heck yeah) and looked great because the chef cooks with soul. The only down side and reason for the price is that it's in a kopitiam, so no air-con. Who cares when you've got $4 Truffle Parmesan Fries to try?! 

We spent only $22.80 excluding kopitiam drinks and the chef even came out to ask about the food. P swell place to explore. 

We talked a great deal about boys and spiritual stuff, long story short, we are both going to hell. We were supposed to catch Interstellar together but she was really tired from all her post-As shopping so we cut that out. Didn't spend a whole day together but it's always a damn good time with her *kisses*

1 December 2014: BBQ at (Mr) Keith's place

More like palace! Look at this view from the bbq area!

The lobby was impressive!! The toilet was HUGE and even had a fountain. 

A few of us met to go to the BBQ center to get the food first, but John took us on a wild... I wish I could say ride, but we literally walked from near Bayshore at East Coast the long way around past Siglap area to Frankel Avenue. There we met a very swag boi Vincent and triad leader Dhiraj. You know if I hang out with them anymore I'm going to get from bad to worse.

 Bullshit boys alert

 We played taiti and this guy's shades reflected his cards but he still won major lmao 

John's mom helped to season the chicken wings and it was so damn good. We even had alcohol there wow one moment ago we were talking school and chicks and now we were drinking and talking CPF. Crazy. Too bad I didn't get to have more chicken wings and booze because I had to head for my internship interview (internal screaming), but it was a swell time nonetheless. Thanks Keith!

SO BRIGHT... SQUINT...

3 December 2014: Interstellar

I Love You Forever (Interstellar) by Daniel Nash

Dhiraj and Vincent bailed on us (the latter was hungover from partying too hard at zouk), so Yanch and I went for lunch at Saizeriya and Interstellar on our own. FINALLY the darn movie!!! I wanted to go alone on the day I went out with ZQ but when I reached Cathy at the last minute it was sold out :-(

Strangely enough, I had never seen the trailer nor read the synopsis, I only knew that it was about space and that it was "damn good". I gravitated somewhat irrationally towards the film im sorry that was a really bad pun. Yeah ok so I really really really wanted to watch it and I'm SO GLAD I DID. 

IT WAS STELLAR!!!!1! I cried so hard so many times IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER! I had a LOVELY TIME sobbing like a baby at Cooper's heartache, laughing at TARS' humour, pissed at Tom's stubbornness and scared as heck about their space adventures. IT WAS SUCH A GOOD MOVIE!!! Zero regrets about ignoring some people's advice not to go watch it (follow your heart sobs). Take me into your fandom now. 

I was really afraid that I wouldn't understand anything since it was spacey, but I was so glad I could keep up (I guess if one can accept how the great eagles in middle earth cannot help to hitchhike frodo all the way to mordor, one can accept the intricacies of space theory). It was a very accessible film, to my tremendous relief. And it was a little bit of everything too: space adventure, scheming characters, family drama, environmental collapse, love.

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LOVE! Speaking of Love, the feels I was given in 169 minutes was immense! Murphy and Joseph Cooper's relationship was so lovely and well-constructed, premise given by the little scenes with the principal (the same guy who played Asagai in Raisin!) and her stowing away in his truck, and the bittersweet tough love Murphy had for him in not wanting to talk to him but working for NASA all the same. 

When they visited Miller's Ocean planet, I felt like I was going to throw up from all the stress of the waves + getting the data + every hour being seven years on earth. And after that what the heck! Doyle dies, Ranger gets wet and twenty frickin three years pass. 

And when they were on Mann's planet??? I knew something was really strange with Mann when he started talking about survival instinct and it set off alarm bells in my head. A+ innocuous dialogue. I found "Absolute Zero" Interstellar Prequel Comic as sort of a back-story to Mann's evil genius.

The tesseract sequence was so unexpected. Well I guess because I was expecting him to be spaghettified upon entering the black hole, as people usually are when entering black holes. yknow. Anyway since he wasn't, I was shocked to see him enter the elevator shaft-like thing only to be the ghost what. I thought it was a little bit sappy that he was the "ghost" but it was very abstractly done, and it was lined with desperation (before the fire from the fields hit) and regret about leaving Murphy, so it balanced the sappiness with the high stakes. 

I think Nolan very expertly tied up the movie's front and back parts -- I'm a sucker for full circles and cool links, like the contact Amelia had when entering the black hole near Saturn = Cooper reaching through Gargantuan, the documentary opening = future preservation site, the whole ghost business with STAY. The tossing in of obstacles and conflict also killed me took me on a wild ride, like choosing between Mann and Edmund, the betrayal of Mann, the secret of Brand Sr., the time dilation, the huge waves, the explosion of Endurance, the splitting up of Amelia Brand and Cooper. There was never really a moment of peace, and every hint of complacent viewing was ruined by the next major obstacle or by a bout of tears.

That said, there were fewer deaths than I expected, despite the incredible odds. That wouldn't have been fun huh? And yet, I don't know if death or loneliness would be better.

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I really appreciated the wisdom and philosophy of the film, from the abstract and inexplicable nature of love to the quality of humanity (failing to care for those beyond them and also maybe coming from the future to give us help). It was a commentary on the unexpected agency of Mankind in the face of the galaxy and unstoppable degradation of the Earth, perfect premise reflecting the concerns of our time. It also married the (not so) contrasting qualities of love, faith and resilience with equations and knowledge, and shook the very constants of our lives like time. 

I was completely bushed by the end of the movie, having cried so much and barely breathing during some parts. It was an incredible experience, enhanced by the great use of silence. I certainly would not have experienced a fraction of this without the audio and visuals of the cinema, so it was really one of, if not the best movie I've seen, and is likely to remain so (sorry botfa??).

Whatever compulsion it was that drew me so unwaveringly to this film (maybe it was "them"), I'm glad as heck I followed it.