Leaving everything behind

I'll be leaving for a 5 day camp on Monday, and here I am, multitasking and procrastinating. I am firstly, blogging about the camp. next to my tiny laptop, on the back of the handout of the details of the camp, are two words in bold, pretty font: Winnowing Memories. I have to plan out a literary word to write, based on this theme. Yes, it is needed for the camp; it is a writing camp. Yet, instead of writing this essay with all my heart and soul, I am also preparing a gift for somebody.

I am not all excited for the camp. I will be the only one from my school attending it. "That's good isn't it?" you might ask. Yes, of course it is good, but that also means I will be spending 5 days, at a hostel, with over a hundred people I don't know.

This is another thing about me that most people probably don't know. Although I may seem all friendly and sociable, I'm awkward in situations I'm not familiar with. In school, I can make friends easily, because, well, we're all from the same school aren't we? But take it out to the real world and I'm all tongue-tied and self-conscious. That is a pretty big deal, especially for somebody in a CCA like mine. People expect me to be all high and happy and unafraid because I'm in drama, because I'm naturally out-going. While that maybe the case sometimes, I can't say I haven't got the jitters from attending a camp or meeting people I don't know.

Perhaps it's this feeling of dread, once again, because I'm leaving my comfort zone, (refer to COALs post) and add that to my doubting my own abilities as a writer, you get a pretty messed up, flustered girl.

The only consolation I get is that Ynez will be attending the same camp. Then, my own flustered mind keeps telling me that she has her own bunch of friends she is going to be with, and I will be the fish out of water. Perhaps whatever Jaime and Shamitaa said will come true, that I will find friends of common interest and even enjoy my time there...

I feel much better writing this out, now, I should get back to trying to write the essay...