You still have all my heart

This is my class, 13A12 (HTML, MELT and HELM, THEM)

Sorry for not updating as frequently anymore. The work load hasn't kicked in yet, but social interaction in general takes a lot of energy and for the most part, I just want to curl up on the floor and have a nice long slumber. 

My class is such a lovely bunch, made up of 10 girls and 9 boys all from different walks of life. The variety is endearing and I feel like I have much to learn from each and every one of my classmates. The overall effect of my class on me is that I just want to pack everybody into a squishy collective and squeal as I express my deep love and dependency through suffocation. 

One thing I adore about my class is, unconventionally in real life, the way our broships sail themselves. There's one in particular that I ship all the way to Valinor but it will seem weird to be talking about my class bros this way so I'm just going to make my excitement nonverbal on here. 

I still don't feel like VJ is 'home' yet; it's too different from the comfort of Cedar. I feel like a child in an adult's body. 

One thing I get from people is that I "look sporty". Well I also get "sciency", "artsy", "emo" and "punk". It's the hair that gives me these unpredictable, ever-changing stereotypes. It must be the hair. "I used to be fit and then the holidays happened" is my usual response to my new classmates asking me if I'm sporty. 

I try. I try very hard to be cool. 

Most of the time, I try hard to just be myself. Unfortunately that has already earned me some soft hate. Of course it's way too early to judge and hate on people, and it's definitely way too early to read them, so I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not always necessary for others to accept me at first glance. We are more complex than that. Does it not take guts to unravel the facets of others? Does it not take time?

Easier said than done.

At this point of time, I really wish that I don't cause primary school issues to repeat themselves. I want to be an ambassador of Being Yourself so badly, but I'm not going to deny my need for attention, for appreciation, for acceptance.  It’s only March and I have a list of things that I shouldn't have said or done that’s as long as this trail of tears of embarrassment. I hope people like me. I hope people don't hate me. I hope I don't screw anything up.